Looking For Mr.Right

the second post of "looking for mr.Right"

Through the centuries human have gone to great lengths in search of myths.Entire lifetime have been squandered looking for the Fountain of Youth,Big Foot,Alien life form and the Lochness Monster. I fear that many of you too have been entrapped in a search which has also been in vain. During my adult years I have wasted precious time, energy and money looking for the Mr.Right. After years of in-depth research I have come to the conclusion that this creature is, in fact, also MYTHICAL. Along with Zues and Hercules, the Mr. Right only exists in one's mind,thus making him in a God indeed.

Dedication for all the men who know they are, think they are or wish they were perfect!!


Mr. Right.......

-puts the toilet seat in down position after use so other members of his household don't have a near-drowning experience in the middle of the night.

-does not have to have complete and sole custody of the T.V. remote control.

-Brushes regularly and knows what floss is.

-does not consider a belch a mating call.

-knows that flowers are not just for cross-pollination.

-does the 3 D's--> dishes,diapers and delivery room.

-has a job.

-doesn't yell when you've finished off all the cookies.

-doesn't think that "You need your tires rotated" is a romantic statement.

-remembers anniversaries

-does not feel that he was divinely appointed to correct and punish poor drivers while on the freeway.

-can connect the dots from hamper to washer to dryer to ironing board to hanger.

-doesn't join a baseball team as an excuse to scratch himself in pubic.

-remembers his kid's name AND what grade they are in.

-doesn't think grunting constitutes quality communication.

-doesn't think a night out means a Taco Bell drive through.

-call when he will be late

-hates golf. Or if he does like it,does not insist that you play with him.

-likes to hug you even when he doesn't want sex.

-never uses the word "boink" to indicates making love.

-thinks that dogs,babies and hamsters are cute.

-packs his own lunches.

-doesn't insist that you attend every one of his ball games.

-thinks your nieces are cute.

-doesn't laugh when he sees you naked.

-never refers to you as "old fart".

-doesn't think that cracking your toes is fun.

-does not confuse the words "love handles" with "lovely".

-is always on time.

-does not use rude hand gestures while driving.

-knows that A&E is a television channel.

-likes to hold hands.

-remembers his kid's birthday.

-does not hog the covers.

-remembers to put the garbage out and feed the dog.

-puts his family's bladders ahead of shortening the trip by 26 seconds.

-can say the words "I'M SORRY"

-is willing to stop and ask for directions.

-does not put the almost-empty juice container back into the fridge.

-does not read a map and drive at the same time.

-is willing to read the direction manual when setting up the VCR computer on child's toy.

-watches more than just sports on TV.

-does not think that chips and beer are essential food group.

-knows when NOT to answer you questions.

-does not drink directly out of the milk container.

-buys lingerie but doesn't wear it himself.

-not only takes phone messages but GIVE them to you.

-unballs his socks before he puts them in the laundry hamper.

-realizes that the idea of romantic getaway does not included live bait.

-laugh at your jokes.

-is gentle.

-owns a suit.....that still fits.

-keeps his dresser drawers in the "IN" position.

-fills up the gas tank before exchanging cars.

-never uses the initials PMS while engaged in an argument.

-knows how to wrap a present.

-is dexterous with dental floss,deodorant and dill.

-picks up milk,kids or dog food on the way home.

-goes to school concerts,little league games and teachers interviews.

-cuts his toe nails regularly and doesn't leave the clipping on the bathroom counter.

-knows the crucial difference between nylons ans panty hose.

-doesn't think that reading the newspaper in an effective form of active listening.

-knows how to turn on the vacuum,cleaner,garbage disposal and YOU.

-remember Valentine's Day.

-doesn't steal extra mints at restaurants

-changes socks ans underwear daily.

-limits his night out with the boys to once a week.

-barbecues.

-knows how to spell the words "hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia"

-does not write telephone numbers,messages or important dates on a scrap piece of paper.

-is organized.

-can always find his shoes.

-is there for the birth as well as the conception.

-knows that can openers are not romantic present.

-has an IQ higher than his age.

-does not have a bar stool permanently attached to his butt.

-gives a back massage that provides relaxation NOT paralyzation.