Right kind of love

I feel so cold, so lonely,emptiness and sorrow, so desperate about something.

I don't know why, but for these few days or even few weeks, I really have such kind of feeling playing on my mind. I don't know what should I do. I knew it's forbidden.

My husband is away from me working, all my sisters are not here. I have been through a lot a lot a lot of things in my life. Different story from young age till now may be. From my puppy love till I met my husband. Some times i think of it, i still wanna cry. Then I will start thinking if I don't do this last time, now I will be what, what so and what...be more what and what again..My mind keep thinking of it

Just looks like I really need a break,but I have so many responsibility. I feel that I'm lack of something...something that i never had, something that i really need, something that I can't get...it will slowly drowning in my sorrow.